I am sorry.........

I am sorry.......... This is a sentence when we all used when we did something wrong that affect other people. When we say we are sorry, do we really mean that? Or just for the sake of comforting our own. Since we did something wrong, we apologize to make ourself feel better and yet still don't care about others feeling. So, what's the point of saying those three words? If you don't mean it, don't say it. That only makes you a hypocrite.

Unnamed Song ~ by Yoshiki

I'm standing on the edge
And coming to my senses from my reverie
Never thought I would
Never thought I'd need to
Say goodbye I bid you farewell
My voiceless words are swaying a flame

I can't live without
I can't live without
I can't live without you
Here in the dark
I whisper your name over again
Give me the strength to seize the light
If I should find a way
I saw a dream you were flying in the sky
Without a fear
Never touched the ground
But never came to my side
I tried so hard to reach out for your hand
The ruthless wind kept your soul away

I can't live without
I can't give without
I can't breathe without you
Here in the world
Do you feel the rain
You said love takes no pain
With or without the sun
The lurid sky is still tearing me apart

Will she let freedome reign over the pain
Give me the strength to believe the words that love will find a way
I can't live without
I can't give without you
Here in the world
Do you feel the rain over the pain
Give me the strength to believe the words that love will find a way
With or without the sun
I'll be and I won't say goodbye cause I...
I know I'll be with you

Finally, got off my laziness and updating my blog now. I'VE GOTTEN AN ACTUARIAL INTERNSHIP!!!!!! Lucky me and lucky ah ting. Your chance of study abroad have slightly increased. Currently, I am working with EMC National Life Company. Everyday crunching numbers and figures. (wrote on June 7th 2007).

Everytime when I called home, my mum will always have the same question for me. When am I going to update my blog? According to her, my dad has been checking my blog frequently though it always disappointed him. The most current entry's date will always be in March. What a lazy bone here. Well, I tried to write something but whenever I begin writing, I'll have problem to continue what I was going to blog about. I hope this entry can be as long as possible, to fill in the gap between the last entry and this.

Carry on with the thing I wrote one month plus ago, numbers and figures are still my co-workers everyday. Everyday, I'll walk into my tiny little cubicle, turn on my machine and sat there from 8 til 4.30 pm. The most interesting part of this job is, my supervisor, Mark Rowley, he is going to be my professor for ACTS 151, a class I'm going to take this Fall semester. And, he's trying to get budget approval for extending my internship through Fall. Can you imagine that your boss is going to be your professor as well? My performance both in class and at work is evaluated by the same person. Hope there won't be any cross influence.

On the day before 4th of July, I did go to work. During working, I emailed my new colleague a.k.a Keving Kading about his plan for July 4th. He was going to spend his 4th of July in his lake house and invited me to come along with him. Of course I would love to join him as I didn't really have plans for 4th of July, plus it is a lake house. I doubt that I will have many chances to visit my friend's lake house. The place was named Sun Valley Lake. It is located an hour south from Des Moines. We watched fireworks on the lake, drank in his place on that night. Surprisingly, his parents were so cool to join a bunch of teenages while we were playing drinking games. The next day, I experienced my 1st water skiing. I tried a few times and the last time, I stood up a while but still wasn't able to balance and end up in the water again.

Can't believe, I blog within a month since my last post!!! Just have too much to say, but can't express how I really feel in words. Maybe it's my problem. Still can't get a job, maybe it's my problem. Couldn't really focus on what I am doing, maybe it's my problem. Something wrong between you and I, maybe it's my problem. What should I do to straighten everything? My career, my studies, you and I......

Blizzard...........

Guess what happened on Thursday? Blizzard!!!! First blizzard both in my life and since I've come to Des Moines, little pathetic capital of Iowa. No matter how strong is your desire to go out, you'll decide to cancel whatever plan you have once you look outside the window. The whole Des Moines had been shut down due to the blizzard.

On the previous Friday, which is 23rd of February, another exam down. I passed it!!!! YEAH!!!!! Finally, I am able to include two exam passed in my resume. But the sad part is, I didn't get any offer for summer internship. Sigh...... I really need to get an internship during this summer. If not, It'll be a hard time for me to get full-time job here. Can anyone get me an intern position in US please?

I know if I said it's been a long time since my last post will be kind of old school as I always said that whenever there's a big gap between the previous post. Haha. Oh guys, I've passed my paper 2, exam FM, financial Mathematics!!!! Congratulation to myself!!!!!

This spring semester, kind of different from all previous semesters because, THIS IS MY 3RD SEMESTER HERE!!!! Haha, I know it's not funny. Actually, I'm graduating by the end of this year. It's kind of hard to describe how I feel exactly. For more precisely, it's complicated. I'm glad that I will be graduating as I'm getting older now. By the June of this year, I'll be 23 year old and I'm still in school. As I'm graduating, there will be no more immature behaving. My sister's future will be some sort of on my shoulder once I graduated. So, the most important thing for me to do right after I graduate will be, get a full time job, in US. I'm really worried about getting a job after graduate because, til now, I only have one exam passed, zero actuarial field working experience, point zero one level of interview experience. The good thing is, I have a good resume being modified by somebody. Thank you so much SC.

On the this coming week, I'll be having interviews for summer internship. This will be chance to get decent working experience which may proceed to full time after school. Til now, I'm still lost about how to present in order to outstand from whom I'm competing with. Some of them have two paper passed, more working experience, some have even worked for insurance company. I have friends who are really willing to help me. I should really know how to appreciate their assistances. Moreover, after next week, I have two weeks left to prepare for my coming professional exam. 2nd attempt on the first exam. It's all about probability.

I might be too exaggerated, I think this coming week will decide how my opportunity in US going to be. Anyway, I have a history paper due on Tuesday. Gotta get going now. Wish me luck on my interviews.

This February is too short for me....... Here's some of the pictures I have taken in Malaysia.